Del

When it comes to what’s going on, Del always knows what’s “really” going on – and chances are, it has something to do with aliens.

Del’s the guy who claims to have deciphered the true meaning behind the Bermuda Triangle, and according to him… it’s more of a Bermuda Square.

Whether you need him to decipher the Voynich Manuscript, or just decipher an office coffee order, Del thinks he has all the answers – they’re just wrapped in 3 layers of tin-foil.

Some wonder if he’ll be okay, but the voices in his head ensure us he’ll be just fine.

Del believes there’s an ultimate, “core” conspiracy at the heart of ALL conspiracies. And who knows, maybe he’s actually right? Don’t worry, he’s connecting all the dots for us with colored string and thumbtacks.

Del actively monitors global espionage on a “Bigfoot” scale, having converted the Core radio studio into a “command center” – but we think he’s the one who should probably be monitored.